Rigorous Honesty: The Key to Healing an Addiction-Damaged Relationship By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

As addicts, we damage our relationships. And sadly, the more important a relationship is to us, the more damage we tend to do. Once we enter recovery, beyond the work of staying sober and pulling our lives back together in a general way, a primary goal for many of us is healing our damaged connections—especially with our spouses and partners. Most of the time, the most significant and painful damage, in the minds of our loved ones, involves the loss of relationship trust. As addicts, we lie, we keep secrets, we manipulate, we gaslight, and we just plain violate every aspect of relationship trust. These behaviors are part of the denial of our addiction. We lie to and keep secrets from ourselves and everyone else as a way of protecting (and continuing) our addictive behavior. Much of the time, we’re not even aware that we’re doing this. Our lack of… Continue reading

Sex Talk Special Guest Dr. Anadel Barbour – How to Have Better Sex

Dr. Barbour was 40 years old with a high school education when she got sober. Without a plan in mind, she began taking classes part-time at a community college while holding various jobs. After earning a We’re going to be breaking new ground on this week’s SEX TALK. For the first time, the focus will be on “How to Have Better Sex.” My special guest is Sex Coach/ Sexologist, author of the clinician’s book “Sex in Sobriety”, Dr. Anadel Barbour. She will be answering questions as well as providing advice on how to have better sex, how to re-engage your partner, and how to experience pleasure despite physical barriers. certificate as a drug and alcohol counselor she began working at a rehab until the financial struggle of an entry-level position forced her back into restaurant work. As coincidence would have it, she was feeling too old and tired for the… Continue reading

Sex and The Sober Woman – By Patty Powers

  I was told to sit on the chair positioned in the center of the room. It was one those uncomfortable, hard, wooden chairs last seen in a classroom or a doctor’s office in 1969. Other chairs formed a large circle around the room. They were contemporary. Only mine was made of wood.  When the door opened, every person on the grounds filed in and found a seat. My addict-peers and the entire staff surrounded me. The purpose of this elaborately staged event was to provide me with an opportunity to beg for forgiveness, repent my transgressions, and plea for a second chance. My crime? I had sex in rehab. The entire scene seemed a little over the top, even by backwoods Louisiana standards, but they’d had their eye on me ever since I arrived with a suitcase full of ratty old stripper costumes. After a year of homelessness, the… Continue reading

Cheating – Are You Honest In All Your “Affairs” – Podcast with Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions—in particular sex, porn, and love addiction. An internationally acknowledged clinician, he has served as a subject expert for multiple media outlets including The Oprah Winfrey Network, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Daily Beast, and CNN, among others. He is the author of several highly regarded books, including “Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating,” “Sex Addiction 101,” “Sex Addiction 101: The Workbook,” and “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men.” He is also the co-author, with Dr. Jennifer Schneider, of “Closer Together, Further Apart” and “Always Turned On: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age.” He blogs regularly for Psychology Today, Huffington Post, Psych Central, Counselor Magazine, I Love Recovery Café, and Mind Body Green. Robert and I had a wonderful chat recently, where… Continue reading

Lessons In Love – By Nicola O’Hanlon

“You might as well face it you’re addicted to Love”   I really love that song. But it also kinda makes me cringe because it reminds me of how I used to think about love. I wasn’t addicted to love. I was addicted to being owned, admired, shown off. Plastic love with no depth. I’ll preform how you want me to and then you’ll love me. Yuck, I feel ill. Real love is not an addictive thing in my opinion because it is not remotely attached to anything negative…including addiction. In our obsessive, all consuming desire for the ever illusive true love, so many of us lose ourselves and fail to even understand what love is. It’s Impossible to define because it seems to mean different things to different people. I’m not an expert on love in any respect, but I can guarantee you, love from another person is not… Continue reading