Reflections on the Anniversary I Never Thought Would Happen – Jackie S

Saturday, November 21, 2015 is the 6th anniversary of my last mind-altering substance taken for recreational purposes.  I have said that to myself at least 20 times in the last two days.  To me, that is a remarkable feat.  I never thought it would happen.  When I relapsed after 10 years dry, but not in recovery, I thought it was just a matter of time before I would disappear from the Earth.  I was a failure – again.  The shame and pain was unbearable.  How could I possibly let go of 10 years – thrown away like just some crinkled piece of paper stuck in my jeans pocket and run through the laundry, fragmented and no longer recognizable as anything of value. Eight more years passed before I thought I might be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I was a failure at sobriety and I was a… Continue reading