An In Depth Review of “A Sober Mom’s Guide To Recovery” By Rosemary O’Connor. Reviews By Jackie S.

After a much needed short hiatus, I am returning to review and comment on yet another book.  This time we are looking at Rosemary O’Connor’s book called A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery: Taking Care of Yourself to Take Care of Your Kids.  Nicky (Editor-In-Chief of iloverecovery.com) made me aware of this book and my reading partner and I have decided to use it as our next project. I’m excited to see how we each react to Rosemary’s discussions. She covers many topics, from guilt associated with trying to make up for how we did or didn’t raise our children while still using and trying to be a supermom in recovery, to trying to live and have fun as a Mom in recovery, including dating, love and co-dependence, to very weighty issues such as spirituality, forgiveness and self-care. In each section, Rosemary talks a bit about her story and how… Continue reading

Drinking: A Love Story – A Glimpse, by Jackie S.

Meetings

  This week, in Caroline Knapp’s book, Drinking: A Love Story, she spends a few pages talking about the meeting rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and her preconceived notions of what they were and were not. She also talks a bit about the stigma that accompanies the realization that one is “a real alcoholic”.  Her first realization was when she confided to her therapist that perhaps she needed to stop drinking and, much to her surprise, he wholeheartedly agreed. She made arrangements to attend her first meeting. Her preconceived notion was that it would be a room full of young professional women, like herself, who would  be seated in a comfortable room and would be given pamphlets about the dangers of drinking by a matronly women in support hose and orthopedic shoes (okay, I made up the footwear part, but it just sounded right). Her actual experience was much more… Continue reading

Drinking – A Love Story – Addiction By Jackie S.

Today’s chapter is a public service announcement of sorts. Caroline starts by sharing the twenty six question quiz she remembers reading to see if she had a problem with alcohol. The pamphlet said if she answered “yes” to even one question, she might have a problem with alcohol. She answered yes to nineteen. Oy vey!  She discusses the debate over whether alcoholism is a disease or a moral deficiency. This book was written in 1996 and although we have a great deal more research on the subject, the issue is still fodder for argument. Discussion of AA, talk therapy, the incredible recidivism rate and the “moderation movement” now known as “harm reduction”. Neurotransmitters and dopamine. Seems to me that while a great deal of this discussion carries on, it makes me think of degrees of alcoholism. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the authors talk about different “types” of… Continue reading

Drinking: A Love Story – SEX – By Jackie S.

In this week’s chapter of Drinking: A Love Story, Catherine Knapp tackles the subject that everyone deals with and few want to discuss –  the connection between alcohol and sex.  Specifically, she discusses how drinking allows people the ability to let down their shields, to be more approaching and approachable. She talks about anonymous sexual encounters, friends with benefits, affairs and long term relationships and how alcohol affects them all. Not only affects them, but allows the participant to dance around their issues rather than facing them, like the purple elephant in the middle of the room – seen by all, but acknowledged by no one. This is just the kind of topic that is difficult to discuss, even now at six plus years sober. It is hard to admit spending a lifetime looking for affection in all the wrong ways and not ever learning how to create real sober… Continue reading

“Drinking – A Love Story” – I’m Not That Bad!

Finishing Chapter Two and starting Chapter Three, this week’s reading focused on two parts of alcoholism with which I could readily relate. First, that no one ever saw my real drinking and second that denial allowed me to stay out there as long as I did. The author spoke at length about how she drank when she was with others and when she was alone. She would go out for drinks with her colleagues after work to the bar across the street. After one or two drinks, she would “have to run” and no one knew that those first two drinks were only the start of her night. I can recall going to the bar/restaurant on the mezzanine floor of our office building. There was always a core group of colleagues, along with others who would join once in a while. Made up mostly of bankers, the group also included… Continue reading