Is Worry Useful? – By Andrea Wachter, LMFT

I am no stranger to worry. In fact, I was pretty much raised on it: love, chicken soup and worry. Suffice it to say that worrying is pretty much in my DNA. And after a few decades of counseling others from all walks of life, I realize that I am not alone. It’s human nature to worry. If you’re a parent, I’m pretty sure it’s in the job description. But having spent a lot of time lost in the depths of worry and its more intense form, anxiety, I have often wondered: Is worry actually useful? We all have our share of things to worry about — from personal to global issues. But there is a distinction between worrying and thoughtful planning. Worry is about focusing on troubling things that might happen but generally speaking, worry does not help a troubling situation. Thoughtful planning and action can help. Deciding to… Continue reading

What Are You Worried About? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

“Should I worry my son can’t say things like other children?” a mother asked me. Pretty much all I heard was “Should I worry?” I knew what she meant, but her question was “SHOULD I WORRY?” We think worry is passive, but the truth is worry is like a brush fire with one thought igniting another until it becomes a forest fire out of control. Worry is a really bad use of your imagination. “Worry” is never something you should do, but taking action and asking questions is a good idea. So often we are quick to use language that actually creates our experience instead of describing it. When we preface our comments with the default phrase “I’m worried” and you stack it up multiple times a day you geometrically amplify worry to the queen bee mother of all worry— A N X I E T Y Worry is an… Continue reading

A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery By Rosemary O’Connor – Communication is a Skill; Worry is an Unnecessary Evil – Review By Jackie Stein

The next two chapters of Rosemary O’Connor’s book, “A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery — Taking Care of Yourself to Take Care of Your Kids”, deal with very important topics for anyone in sobriety, but maybe more so for Moms than anyone else. Without good communication skills, our relationships with our kids can be severely damaged.  And if we are overwrought, our kids pick up on that and are severely affected. Being a Mom ain’t easy, but it is so worth it. One of the best things about 12 step programs is that we learn all the good and bad ways to communicate. I have often thought that the world would be a better place if everyone had a 12 step program. Communication is a vital part of working the steps. Before recovery, my communication skills were relegated to loud and raucous arguments or intense silence. I didn’t understand that… Continue reading