The reality is 2017 is just about over, and you have less than a week to live out any goals you may have set for yourself for this year. So now may be a good time to pause and reflect on what has and has not transpired for you over the past year. As an empowered lover of life I invite you to ask yourself, if you have managed to achieve the goals that you set for yourself for the past year?
If you are like most people you may have not have gotten as far as you had hoped, which is part of human nature but not to worry because you have been gifted with a brand-new moment, to choose again, now.
December is typically when we tend to reflect and evaluate all that has happened over the past 12 months. It holds an air of nostalgia and promise. It can also be a time to benchmark both our successes and failures, and set our intentions to clean the slate and create a new year; one filled with faith and optimism with the hope of achieving a reality matched to our aspirations and dreams.
This year will be different’ is the mantra we often repeatedly play out in our heads; Or so we thought………….
There is a reason why starting something new and staying the course is so hard for us. It is not the lack of discipline that keeps us stuck, but rather our wiring which often plays interference with our process.
Humans are wired for comfort and we will move towards anything that feels good naturally, and we will tend to step back from discomfort and anything that is painful and challenging. There is a reason it is so damn hard to change our ways!
Awe a legitimate excuse with science to prove as to why we don’t always do what we know will be in our best interest!
By now you may be thinking that you are damned no matter what you do? But, change can start with setting one single goal and the decision to act and move forward. As time goes on you may find that your commitment to your decision may still be strong, but the motivation may soften. It can be challenging to stay the course and this is when you just must shut down the internal dialogue and not give voice to the saboteur, and honour your commitment by simply moving forward.
One of my favourite quote that has had such a profound impact on me to this day and one that I repeat often is from Byron Katie, who refers to the fact that ‘do not fight with reality’. I remember when I heard this for the first time, the alarms bells went off for me immediately recognizing that I spend so much time trying to change outside circumstances, instead of my own internal perception of the situation at hand which is to continually choose to fight with what I cannot change, and therefore not focus on the things I can. Talk about torment!
I sense that I may not be alone here. Too often we fail victim to our mindset, believing our stories as facts without performing our own “inquiry” and questioning: “Do we know this to be true?”
With this new-found knowledge I was on a quest to learn how to transcend my limiting beliefs. Over time with practice and fumbles. I developed the capacity to ‘not fight with reality’ and be in a place of acceptance to what is playing out in my day.
This has not been an easy lesson incorporating daily rituals into my life. My rituals are the lynchpin of my personal manifesto, which has given me the resilience as to how recovery has lead to the discovery of my true authentic and happy self.
Here are the top 5 ways to build resilience and change
Have a daily practice. Set your day up for success with some ritual that will create an intentional start. The tools are endless, but I use a variety of different modalities that have become my basics that are non-negotiable are prayer, meditation, breathwork and yoga. I have created a handy tool based on the 5-minute journey you can download at www.therecoveryconcierge.com
Manage your mind. Witnessing where you may fall victim to negative thinking and fear, know that by developing self-awareness, you can stop, pause and choose again. Where ever you focus, it will be self-perpetuating for better or worse, so choose wisely.
Develop your own boundaries. It is critical to be able to protect yourself by not overextending yourself. Too often I would find myself saying yes, when I truly wanted to say no. The fatigue, and resentment would build afterwards taking me further away from my original intent.
Be a person of integrity. This means no white lies, or bending the truth to suit yourself, simply put, be impeccable with your word. Check your motives and be honest as if your life depends on it.
“Just do it as” Nike says. Rarely will we feel like starting that new exercise program or eating plan which is why taking action is the necessary first step for you to get the results you are looking for. Too often people are ‘waiting to feel like ‘starting something’ as compared to starting the new task and the mind will follow later.
Our lives are fluid with constant change and motion allowing us always to reflect, pause and choose again. Nothing is permanent and life has a sense of ebb and flow allowing us to dream big and create new goals, which in turn gives us the privilege to witness our dreams become our reality, should we dare to go for it!
By having a sense of what you stand for will let you know what you are willing to fight for.
However you choose to spend your holiday time I would like to take this time to wish you all a happy joyous and peaceful holiday season and may 2018 be filled with much peace, success and a goal achieved new year!