What Am I Looking For? – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

“What am I looking for?”….

….I asked myself as I stood before the open refrigerator door. My brain was on multi-tasking steroids, running a thousand thoughts of what I had to do, who I had to talk to and I stood there clueless.

I had arrived at a place I knew I was meant to be, but, “What was I looking for?”

What am I looking for?” This is a resourceful question to ask your brain, especially by saying it aloud.  The brain’s life purpose is to solve the questions/problems. Ask it the right question and it gets to work….

AHHHH LIMES! That’s what I needed from the refrigerator.

My clients are always asking What Am I looking for?  

This bigger all-encompassing life question seems to carry a heavier feeling.

Yearning. Longing.  Maybe frustration and despair.

We are always asking, “What am I looking for?” because as long as we are alive and evolving, we have the potential to grow and expand.

Asking this question ignites the mind to seek an answer.

So how do you solve this riddle?

Follow the impulse of curiosity.

What excites you and draws you in? What do you gravitate toward? What are the books on your shelf? What music makes you dance or sing or cry with resonance? Where do you go that brings you joy?

Begin to discover the themes that recur.

Feed the impulse and heed the whisper

Taking tiny steps toward knowing, honoring and recognizing what you are looking for, leads to momentum, like a sprout bursting through the soil – the critical tipping point from invisible to visible proof –  something is emerging.

Would you criticize a sprouting seedling? saying, “Well you’re not much of anything.”  You delight in seeing the growth and emergence of something tender and developing.

“What are you looking for?”

Delight in your emergence. Look for evidence of it. Nurture and support it as it grows.

Make Believe ~Make Belief Affirmation: I am growing and emerging everyday. I look for and acknowledge my positive growth.

About Tsgoyna Tanzman

For more than 20 years, Tsgoyna has been coaching a broad range of people, including those who’ve suffered traumatic brain injuries and catastrophic life events as well as healthy, smart, successful people who’ve been derailed or feel stuck. She likes to say, “You don’t have to have a brain injury to damage your brain, we do that with our limiting thoughts and negative beliefs.” Tsgoyna is an expert at helping women learn to coach themselves, so they can redefine and recreate their lives from an integrated, empowered and joyful state. She teaches women the tools and strategies to separate circumstances from thoughts & feelings, while gaining insight and choice into the actions they take. She supports women in releasing emotional baggage and limiting beliefs, setting goals and taking action to achieve them. Tsgoyna knows about addiction, codependence, alcoholism and the daily process of working a program as her husband is celebrating 25 years of sobriety since the intervention she arranged. Tsgoyna is a Speech/Language Pathologist, MA/CCC, Certified Life Coach, Mental Emotional Release® Therapist, Master Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming and a Certified Hypnotherapist. Additionally, she achieved a Level II certification in E.F.T (Emotional Freedom Technique). She has also been guest writer with 9 published pieces at the online magazine MORE.COM as well as having 15 stories published in Chicken Soup for the Soul ( in 15 different anthologies).
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