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Why You Want To “STOP IT!” – By Tsgoyna Tanzman

 

 

My client called me the day after it happened…

“I went to the emergency room, she said.  “I thought I was having a heart attack. I guess I’m really anxious about this speech.” Her tone was heavy with shame and self-recrimination.

“Well, it’s better to die of embarrassment than a heart attack,” I said, “but let’s talk about what got you there.”

Anxiousness is a really poor use of imagination.

I am not a doctor and I don’t play one in my coaching practice, but what I see from lots of clients and my own personal observation is

Anxiety is:  fear, discomfort and catastrophizing on steroids

Yes, some people genuinely need medicine to alter or interrupt their maladaptive brain patterns,

but the behavioral component of

Stopping what you’re doing that got you into that state is an often overlooked component. 

You need to create different body postures and  think different thoughts if you want a different outcome

People who are not anxious DONT keep visualizing repetitive catastrophes–

They don’t repeat dialogue in their head that is the equivalent of an accelerant

They interrupt their thoughts if they go astray

They create new pictures

They breathe and move

They change their body postures

They say soothing things

and when their brains go rogue they say: “STOP IT”

They interrupt their patterns because they know it’s easier to stop a car going 5 miles an hour than a train going 100 mph.

Something as simple as “STOP IT” has magical effects.

The perfect illustration is Bob Newhart’s Youtube clip, “STOP IT!”

Humorous, Simple and Divinely wise:  A Less than 5-minute counseling session that will help anyone.

Is anxiousness ever a good thing?

Yes, anxiousness is a signal that says you need to get ready. It lets you know something needs to be done. It’s a call alerting you to prepare. As you prepare, anxiousness converts to excitement. You may still have a butterfly tingling stomach, but the energy moves you toward taking flight not freezing, crumbling or ending up in the emergency room.

It’s energy speeded up to give you the power to complete something bigger than you thought you could.

As for my client with the false heart attack…

Together we worked on a few simple exercises, more practice with her speech and some inner and outer game pattern interrupts.

The result?

She gave her speech, got some laughs, connected authentically with her appreciative audience and was asked to speak at another event.

Most importantly she liberated herself from the tyranny of that crazy smack talk and found she was of genuine service to her audience.

What will you STOP so you may release your true gifts?

Make Believe ~Make Belief: Today I will interrupt my negative thoughts and say, ” STOP IT!” change my body posture and breathe. 

About Tsgoyna Tanzman

For more than 20 years, Tsgoyna has been coaching a broad range of people, including those who’ve suffered traumatic brain injuries and catastrophic life events as well as healthy, smart, successful people who’ve been derailed or feel stuck. She likes to say, “You don’t have to have a brain injury to damage your brain, we do that with our limiting thoughts and negative beliefs.” Tsgoyna is an expert at helping women learn to coach themselves, so they can redefine and recreate their lives from an integrated, empowered and joyful state. She teaches women the tools and strategies to separate circumstances from thoughts & feelings, while gaining insight and choice into the actions they take. She supports women in releasing emotional baggage and limiting beliefs, setting goals and taking action to achieve them. Tsgoyna knows about addiction, codependence, alcoholism and the daily process of working a program as her husband is celebrating 25 years of sobriety since the intervention she arranged. Tsgoyna is a Speech/Language Pathologist, MA/CCC, Certified Life Coach, Mental Emotional Release® Therapist, Master Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming and a Certified Hypnotherapist. Additionally, she achieved a Level II certification in E.F.T (Emotional Freedom Technique). She has also been guest writer with 9 published pieces at the online magazine MORE.COM as well as having 15 stories published in Chicken Soup for the Soul ( in 15 different anthologies).
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One Comment

  1. Oh, my dear Tsgoyna, you are amazing and I am so blessed to know you. You inspire me even if it’s not my particular challenge. I take your words of wisdom and apply them to my own circumstances (like the ceiling falling in today). No perceived heart attack or anxiety. (But the glass of Menage a Trois didn’t hurt. ) Thanks. as always.

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